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Title: Keep Your Soul Like A Secret In Your Throat 5/?
Pairing: Adam/Tommy, Adam/Isaac(not relationship wise)
Beta: i_glitterz
Author(s):i_glitterz and kittys_devil
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4,000
Disclaimer: Please don't send to anyone named in this fic. I don't own anything or anyone. Not making any profit. Adam owns Tommy, Tommy owns Adam, and everyone else owns everyone else as well.
Warning: blood talk, persuasiveness, anger, refusal, angst(<- this chapter, that's all the warnings for now. Will add more with each chapter)
Summary: Adam's been neglecting himself from the one thing he needs to survive, but it's not like he's doing it on purpose; he's on tour and that distracts him from his need to feed. Tommy suggests to Adam that he can feed off of him, but Adam refuses, until he can't take it anymore and finally gives in. What happens when it becomes routine; Tommy being the only person he feeds from? And when the elephant in the room explodes, can they get back to where they were or will they become more than what they were to each other before?
Author's Notes: This will be a chaptered fic, thanks to adobejunkie for the banner and sorry for the time away. We've been busy working on other stories along with this one!








Tommy can’t even look Adam in the eyes, so frustrated and hurt. He’s too focused on the blood dripping down that twink’s neck and the crimson liquid that’s still on Adam’s lips. The anger inside of him boils up in a way he’s never felt before. After everything they’ve talked about, Adam does this? Tommy just stares at the guy’s neck, at the blood that has seemed to slow down with time.

When he looks at Adam, the way his eye have changed from a bright purple to their natural blue and the way his face looks sorrowful, Tommy can’t handle it, his rage over showing all the hurt and pain he felt when he discovered Adam feeding on someone else. That wasn’t even what hurt the most, Adam feeding from someone else, it was the fact that he lied to Tommy, told him that he didn’t want to feed from his neck because it was too intimate, but he’d do it with a stranger? Someone he doesn’t even know, when Tommy had offered, wanted it so badly that he’d almost begged for it?

He turns quickly, moving away from them, away from the club and away from everything that’s reminding him of Adam and his selfish fucking hunger as fast as he can. He’s not running, he’s too angry for that, too hurt to slow down and walk out calmly like a normal person would. He walks away faster when he feels Adam’s presence behind him, rigid movements, staring straight ahead but not making eye contact with anyone.

He hears his name, not even sure who’s calling out to him, but isn’t stopping to find out and when he shoves through the door of the club, everything just intensifies. He wants to scream and yell, punch everything around him but at the same time, he wants to just collapse into a hole and hide from the embarrassment that he feels at seeing Adam like that again with someone he didn’t know, doing something he wouldn’t even do with Tommy! He’s walking faster and harder, his lungs burning from the oxygen they’re trying to pull in when he hears Adam call out his name.

“Don’t talk to me! I don’t wanna fucking hear it right now,” he hisses out between a clenched jaw and flared nostrils. He doesn’t want to hear the excuses, the lies that he’s sure Adam’s already forming in his head. He’s not going to think he did anything wrong, and that’s what hurts the most, because it makes Tommy feel like what he wants from Adam is wrong.

Tommy doesn’t stop until he’s back at the hotel. He knows Adam followed him, but he doesn’t turn to look at him, can’t even face him right now and as much as he does not want to go back to their room, he also doesn’t want anyone else to see him like this. He gets into the elevator, stands in front of the buttons, so close, his nose almost touches the wall because Adam walks in right after him and he wants to be as far away from him as possible. Adam does as Tommy asks, though; he doesn’t make a sound and Tommy can’t figure out if that’s pissing him off even more or making it better. The fucking nerve Adam has!

When the door to their room shuts and he hears Adam turn the deadbolt, he starts seething with even more rage. He’s so hurt and shocked by what Adam’s done, but that’s being pushed down and he’s only letting the anger show right now, because he’s feeling weak and vulnerable and doesn’t want to show that to Adam. Tommy wants to lash out at Adam, something he’s never felt toward anyone before. He watches as Adam toes off his shoes, slips his jacket off and sits in one of the chairs without making a sound. The silence is deafening to him, but he can’t do anything, thoughts of jealousy and possessiveness clouding his mind and his judgment and he’s pretty sure that if he doesn’t get ahold of himself right now, it’ll end badly for the both of them.

“Ugh!” He shouts out when he can’t take it any longer, pacing back and forth in the room, his body thrumming too much to just sit down and try to calm himself.

“Tommy, I...” Adam starts before Tommy cuts him off.

“I didn’t say you could talk! I don’t want to hear anything you have to say right now!” he spits out with his jaw still clenched tight. He feels like he’s losing his mind, the rage inside him making the room spin, his ears ring and he just wants to hurt something, or better yet, someone and that someone happens to be Adam. Tommy spins quickly, slamming his fist into the wall. The pain feels good; it’s not enough to do any real damage but it’s enough for him to feel like he’s doing something about the anger inside of him. He pulls his fist out of the plaster and he can see some scratches with a little blood, but he ignores it in favor of turning to Adam. He’ll pay for the damage if he has to.

“You!” he growls out as he looks at Adam for the first time since he left the club. Tommy can see Adam swallow like he’s not sure if he’s going to be allowed to finally talk or if he’ll have to shut up until Tommy’s finished. He walks over so that he’s looming over Adam before he continues, “Was it good for you, Adam? Get off on biting that fucking twink in a way that could have killed him? Make you feel strong and powerful, like you were the master of the fucking universe? Did you even think about what you were doing?”

“I...”

“Save it, Adam. I don’t want your excuses. I don’t want all the lies you have in your head spilling out. I’m just some fucking toy for you to play with, aren’t I? We fucking agreed! You could have, no should have, come and gotten me. Or were you too busy thinking with your dick to even remember me? And what the actual fuck what that, anyways? What happened to too intimate for us?”

Tommy turns away from Adam and starts pacing again. He feels like there’s so much he wants to say, needs to say, but right now, he can’t find the words. He feels like his entire world’s crashing down on him and he doesn’t even know why he feels like this, why he feels like Adam just cheated on him when they’re not even together. He knows that he and Adam aren’t in a relationship, at least not in the way most people might use the word, but he can’t find any other word to describe what they have. And right now, he’s so hurt by what Adam did that it makes him sick.

The flashback he gets when he thinks about it; the way Adam had his fangs deep in the guy’s neck, the way Adam looked, the fact that that should have been him and not some stranger from a club, has his inside clenching tight from possessive jealousy, and the sudden realization of that has his knees feeling weak and he couldn’t make it to the bathroom faster if he tried. He empties the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl, his throat burning from unshed tears, anger, and vomit.

When he has nothing left, he falls onto his ass, pulls his knees up to his chest and tries to breathe. His chest is tight, his body still humming with anger, but filled with hurt at the same time and confusion as to why he feels like this. The image of seeing Adam do that, the one thing he’s all but been begging Adam to do with him, to some stranger fills his head.

He’s pulled back from his thoughts by a soft knock on the doorway of the bathroom, and when he looks up, he sees Adam standing there, almost cowering like a puppy in trouble.

“What?” Tommy says hoarsely, still not ready to talk, and his throat’s burning.

“Are you okay, baby?” Adam whispers it like he’s afraid that talking will get his head chewed off again.

“No,” Tommy sticks with one word responses. He might let Adam talk, but everything is not okay. And the baby sinks Tommy’s heart even more because that’s not them anymore, that’s not this and he hasn’t even realized that that’s what this could have been until now, until it’s like it’s literally been ripped from his hands.

“Can we talk, out there, please?” Adam’s almost begging, and Tommy’s never seen him this timid and unsure of himself since they met.

“Yes,” Tommy says harshly. He’s still pissed and hurt, but he knows Adam and he knows that if he doesn’t agree to this, neither one of them will get any rest tonight. He gets up, brushes his teeth to get the acid taste out of his mouth and splashes some cold water on his face. He looks up into the mirror and shudders at the rage and hurt staring back at him.

When he walks back into their room, Adam’s sitting on the couch, a glass of water in his hand and when Tommy walks over, Adam hands it to him. “Thanks,” Tommy whispers, taking the glass and sipping the water, the coldness soothing his throat some.

When he sits down, he moves as far away from Adam as the couch will allow and holds the glass in his hands, giving them something to do. The anger is gone, flushed down the toilet with everything else that was left in his body, but the hurt has risen and he can’t hold it back any longer, so he looks over at Adam and whispers, “Why?” Because he would really like to know.

Adam sighs and what he says doesn’t even come close to the comfort Tommy’s sure he was going for. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I couldn’t stop it, it was like I needed it or I would have gone insane.”

Tommy shakes his head because Adam is full of shit. “You could have come to me. I would have helped you. I asked you what was wrong when we finished the concert, but you ignored me. Do you even want this? Do you want to feed from me?”

Adam looks over at Tommy and the pain in his eyes makes Tommy want to look away, want to comfort him because a pained Adam is a pained Tommy, but he doesn’t move, forces himself to stay put because Adam did this, Adam made him like this. “Baby…”

“Please, don’t call me that. Not now, not after that, after what I saw, with a stranger. You won’t give me that, won’t take what you need from a place you call too intimate for us, but you’ll do it with someone you barely even know? How is that even right, Adam, huh?” Tommy’s chest tightens when Adam goes to grab his hand and he pulls away from it. He doesn’t want Adam touching him right now, can’t stand the thought of Adam touching him after what he saw.

“We’re not ready for that, you’re not ready for that. That was just some guy, I didn’t know him, and we aren’t connected like you and I are, so it’s different. I won’t get possessive over him. I won’t try to keep him from everyone that’s not me. Don’t you get it, Tommy? I need you so much, that I’m trying to stay away from that part of my need.” Adam looks at him with pleading eyes, like he wants Tommy to understand, but all Tommy can think about is the fact that Adam will feed off of someone he doesn’t know from the neck, but he won’t do it with Tommy.

And the fact that he’s hurts so much by that makes him believe that it’s not just because he’s Adam’s donor that it has him so twisted up, but the fact that he thought, no, he assumed that Adam felt something for him like he felt for Adam. The moment Adam had fed from him the first time made him see what he wanted, and that was Adam, still is. He just didn’t realize it until tonight.

“I thought that helping you out would make you see what was right in front of you, but I guess it hasn’t. You still don’t see it, fuck, I don’t even think you can feel it,” Tommy says, his hurt turning to anger, because it pisses him off that he could have been so stupid.

“So what? You want me to feed from your neck? Is that what you want? Something you’re not ready for?” Adam gets up and grabs Tommy’s arm, his eyes changing from blue to purple faster than Tommy’s ever seen before.

“Adam, stop.” Tommy tries to pull his arm out of Adam’s grip, but he squeezes as hard as steel and pulls Tommy to his feet, dragging him to the bed. He shoves him down and when Tommy hits the mattress, Adam’s on top of him, a feral look on his face that Tommy’s never seen before. “Adam!”

“This is what you wanted, Tommy, right? You want me to bite your neck? Well, fucking bare it and see it happen. I’ll do it, I’ll fucking make you happy and ruin everything because I won’t be able to control myself afterwards. Go ahead, do it!” Adam yells, glaring at Tommy, his fangs descending.

Tommy stares at Adam. He could get what he wants right now, but he doesn’t know if he should do it like this, with Adam so mad and wild. He turns his head and whispers, “I don’t want it like this.”

Adam leans down and rubs his face across Tommy’s throat, licking a path from the top of his shirt to the tip of his ear. “You want it, baby. I’ll give it to you. Stop being angry with me and I’ll do it,” Adam whispers, voice gone soft and husky and it hits Tommy harder than it ever has.

He wraps his arms around Adam’s neck and pulls him down, hugging him close because his anger is gone, but his hurt is still there and he says as much. “I’m not angry as much as I am hurt, Adam. You betrayed everything we talked about and you can’t just say you’ll do something to make me happy. I want you to. I want to feel that connection, but I don’t see why you’re so afraid of it.”

“Because I know what’s going to come out of it.” Adam sounds pained, but he doesn’t move off of Tommy.

“No, you don’t. You think you do, but you don’t.” Tommy moves his face into the space between Adam’s shoulder and his head, his face pushed into Adam’s neck, the spot he loves. He’s shaking from the anger subsiding and he doesn’t even know what to do anymore. “Don’t do it again, just don’t do it. Please, it hurts too much to see you like that with someone else when we agreed that it was you and me, or at least I thought it was like that.”

Adam moves, rolls them over and pulls Tommy with him until he’s straddling Adam’s hips. He looks up at Tommy, eyes so purple they look like stained glass. “I want you too much. I didn’t think about it before it happened, I just needed to feed and I couldn’t take more from you when I’d taken so much the night before.”

Tommy leans down and rests his head above Adam’s heart. “I told you to just ask me and I’d do it. I’d do anything for you, Adam.”

“I know, and that scares me because I’ll get even more possessive. I don’t think you can handle that.” Adam sighs and runs his hands through Tommy’s hair and he keens, rubbing his face against Adam’s chest.

“You won’t bite me on the neck because you think I won’t be able to handle the possessiveness that you assume will come from it?” Tommy asks, and it’s starting to make a little more sense to Tommy. Yes, it’s an intimate move, but it’s also a connection that could make Adam unable to control himself like it did with Kris.

“Yes, and you’re not ready for that, baby. I’m sorry that I went out to do something I agreed we’d only do, but I couldn’t take it from you that way and I just couldn’t ask you. It still feels so weird asking that from you.” Adam runs his fingers through Tommy’s hair and grips it hard, lifting his head to look at Adam.

Tommy stares at him and watches his eye turn blue and then he smiles. “You obviously missed the way I reacted to seeing you with someone else, babyboy. I practically tried to rip your head off. And I’m sorry about that. I just thought that if we were doing this, it was just us, no one else in the equation. I know we’re not, like, together or anything, but it feels that way, okay, and it just felt like you ripped my heart out and stomped all over it when I saw you with that guy. It was like you didn’t even care.” Tommy closes his eyes against the hurt that washes over him, but he opens them again when Adam tugs on his hair.

“Why did you react like that? I mean, I know it hurt you, but it was more than that, wasn’t it? What’s going on?” Adam whispers.

Tommy sighs and looks down at Adam’s lips, the way they part and he can see that his fangs haven’t pulled back yet and he does something he hasn’t, he runs his finger along Adam’s lips and pushes down on his bottom lip, opening Adam’s mouth. “Like I said before, we’re not together, but it feels like it. I don’t know why I felt it so strong then, but in my mind, you’re mine, so seeing you like that felt like you were cheating on me and it hurt, god, Adam, it hurt so much.” He runs the pad of his finger against Adam’s fang and his eyes widen when it cuts, blood running down his finger and onto Adam’s tongue.

He gasps when Adam closes his mouth around his finger and sucks, wrapping his hand around Tommy’s wrist, pulling it closer to his face while Adam closes his eyes. “Fuck, Adam.”

Arousal seeps out of his voice and his dick hardens in his jeans. He can feels Adam’s tongue soothing the cut, licking over it and then he nips the end and Tommy can feel the blood flow again. Adam’s teasing him and it’s the biggest turn on to Tommy that Adam’s teasing him with his own blood. He leans down and nuzzles the side of Adam neck, leaving a line of soft, chaste kisses down the side of his face and up into his hairline. He doesn’t know if he should be doing this, but he can’t help it, doesn’t know if he even wants to stop right now, because this feels so good.

Adam licks over the pad of his finger, pulls it out of his mouth and has Tommy under him in the blink of an eye. He stops there, just looking down at Tommy and before he knows it, Adam’s lips are on his and it’s not like they haven’t kissed before, but this doesn’t feel like the kisses they’ve shared before. This feels like a soul searching, breathtaking, life sucking right out of him kiss that has him melting into the mattress like every woman in the sappiest of films and he kisses back, because that’s all he can think to do. He wraps his arms around Adam’s neck and follows Adam when he licks at the seams of his mouth, opening up and softly sliding his tongue along Adam’s.

It pulls the most embarrassing moan out of him, but he just can’t seem to care at the moment because Adam’s breaking him apart with his mouth and tongue and Tommy’s never felt like this. Adam tastes so sweet, like sugar, and he knows it’s the venom, because his body relaxes even more and his muscles turn into jelly.

He runs his fingers through Adam’s hair, grip going tight when Adam’s tongue licks its way into his mouth. Adam moans out, slowly rocking his hips into Tommy’s erection and he spreads his legs, lets Adam get in between them, closer. He feels the most connected to Adam than he’s ever felt and when they pull apart to breathe, Adam’s eyes are purple again.

“Do it,” Tommy breathes out against Adam’s spit shiny lips. He stares at Adam, hoping he knows what Tommy means and he sees it when Adam gets it because he looks like he’s about to protest, but Tommy stops that before it even starts. “I don’t care, okay? I can handle it, I promise.”

Adam looks at Tommy for a long moment and when he finds what Tommy assumes he’s searching for, he nods and slowly kisses Tommy again, moving his way down his mouth to his jaw and then, he’s trailing soft kisses along the line of his neck, softly licking the vein there and sucking a small mark right below his collar.

“If I do this, you can’t regret it. I don’t think I could take it if you regretted it, Tommy,” Adam whispers against his throat, running his fangs along the skin there and Tommy shivers, unlocking one arm from around Adam’s neck and wrapping it around his lower back, bringing him closer, pulling his body against Tommy’s and Adam moans out softly.

“I want this, Adam, have begged for it, please.” Tommy pulls Adam’s shirt up, runs the tips of his fingers along the small of his back, earning a soft moan from Adam before he licks along the vein again, and then the greatest of any kind of feeling washes over Tommy when Adam sinks his teeth into his neck.

There’s a tiny bit of pain, but the pleasure and feeling of good overpowers it so much, it feels like it’s not even there, wasn’t there to begin with. It feels like the best kind of orgasm and he can’t stop the moan that escapes his throat, finding its way out of his mouth and right to Adam’s ears. He sucks against Tommy’s neck and pleasure shoots through him like a bullet, pooling in his stomach and groin, warmth spreading throughout his veins and he thinks it’s Adam’s venom, but he’s not sure. All he knows is that he can’t believe they’re doing this, can’t believe they didn’t start with doing this before because it feels so good, like the greatest high that he never wants to come down from.

“Fuck, Adam,” Tommy whispers, turning his head so that Adam can get closer, and when he does, Tommy’s scratching his nails up Adam’s side, hopefully drawing blood even though he knows it’s unlikely, because he wants Adam to feel as much as Tommy feels right now. Everything in his body feels like it’s coated in sex and sugar and he’s basking in it, keeps basking in it even after Adam pulls back and seals the marks with a lick.

His mind is floating and he doesn’t come back down until he feels Adam’s hands on his face, soothing over his cheeks and lips, calling his name softly. “Baby, Tommy, come back to me.”

“Wasn’t gone,” Tommy mumbles, opening his eyes and looking up at Adam. His eyes are blue again, but they have a light in them that they didn’t have before and he smiles up at Adam. “Come here.”

Adam smiles and leans down, Tommy pulling him to his mouth, because he really wants to kiss Adam again. It’s soft and slow, little chaste kisses that leave warmth inside of Tommy’s body.

“You need to rest. I’ll wake you up in a few to eat and drink something.” Adam maneuvers Tommy until he’s under the covers with Adam, wrapped around his side with his head on Adam’s chest, his leg tossed over Adam’s and his arm around his waist.

“We’re doing that again. Fuck it, we’re doing that from now on,” Tommy says over a yawn. He scoots up a little bit until his face is against Adam’s neck where he wants it to be and then before he can hear what Adam says after that, he’s asleep, body relaxed, mind blank, and the hurt and anger a far memory because he got what he wanted and that was Adam biting his neck. He just hopes he doesn’t regret it in the morning, hopes he hasn’t lied to Adam.






Comments

( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
robin1961
Mar. 28th, 2012 03:06 am (UTC)
wow that was a roller coaster !! feel bad for Adam I know thats weird with tommy being hurt by his actions but he is trying so hard not to hurt Tommy that thats exactly what he did ... and now that the bite has happened .....just wow !!! awesome chapter ♥
nearsilence
Mar. 28th, 2012 10:09 pm (UTC)
Thanks!! The angst is about to start and it's all about to get worse, so forewarning!! <333
jaythorne
Mar. 28th, 2012 03:50 am (UTC)
I wish I could leave a more intelligent comment than "JFDLSJFLSDJFEILJCKLDSJ!!!" to express my enthusiasm and utter adoration for this chapter, but since I'm temporarily rendered incapable of coherent thought due to this fic I'm just going to settle with "FJDSKLJFLSEJWILJL!!" <3 <3 <3 Love this so much. <3
nearsilence
Mar. 28th, 2012 10:10 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much, bb!! We're happy we left you speechless!! There's going to be a huge turn of events, so keep a look out!! <333
fritzie2a_t
Mar. 28th, 2012 04:33 am (UTC)
Oohhh, I like mad Tommy! I thought he was going to punch Adam for a sec there before he hit the wall ! And I hope you don't regret it either T after getting what you wanted. Good chapter. I see more fireworks ahead with these two !
nearsilence
Mar. 28th, 2012 10:12 pm (UTC)
There will be fireworks, but there'll be a lot of explosions too!! This is where we're going to go a little deeper, show you guys how everything can change for them... either good or bad is up to them :D Thanks so much! <33
glamgal_09
Mar. 28th, 2012 06:44 am (UTC)
i have no words for this really i just wanna roll in it all the time <3
nearsilence
Mar. 28th, 2012 10:12 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much, bb!! So glad you like it!! <33
adobejunkie
Mar. 28th, 2012 12:10 pm (UTC)
I just read all the chapters i missed and omggg i love this fic sooo much<333 I can't wait to see what will happen next amazing job bb<333
nearsilence
Mar. 28th, 2012 10:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much!! You're awesome!! <33
fabwords
Mar. 28th, 2012 12:50 pm (UTC)
great chapter, so loving this fic. <3
nearsilence
Mar. 28th, 2012 10:13 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!! <3
(Deleted comment)
nearsilence
Mar. 28th, 2012 10:14 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!! This was tough for us, but we pulled through and wrote it as best we could!! Glad some emotion came across!! <3
huntersprey
Mar. 28th, 2012 03:51 pm (UTC)
I love how deep they're getting into this with each chapter. And when Adam got all up on Tommy telling him to bare his neck...hot! I'm glad they're taking it that one step further now. Can't wait to see how things might change because of Adam feeding from Tommy's neck. Love you, bb's!
nearsilence
Mar. 28th, 2012 10:15 pm (UTC)
hehehe, that just happened out of nowhere!! We weren't even planning on that, but it seemed like Adam's character wanted to get angry, too!! Thanks so much, and you better be posting your vampy fic soon as well!!! Love you, too, darling!! <333
lizibabes
Mar. 28th, 2012 06:11 pm (UTC)
Loved how you showed how hurt and angry Tommy was, Great chapter <33333
nearsilence
Mar. 28th, 2012 10:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Lizi!! Muah!! You're such an awesome friend! <3333
csi13
Mar. 29th, 2012 02:12 am (UTC)
wow, oh my god and jesus, what an intense chapter yet again. I could really picture Tommy storming off and Adam right behind him, so angry he punched a wall and glad it wasn't Adam. So many hidden emotions, seems like Tommy's true feelings for Adam are coming out. The make out scene was just so hot, I really hope that Tommy didn't lie to Adam about regretting it and they will do it again. Can't wait for more, as always <333
nearsilence
Apr. 3rd, 2012 12:27 pm (UTC)
Like they say, all good things must come to an end :) More soon! Thanks!
mdzw
Mar. 29th, 2012 09:53 pm (UTC)
Wow, awesome & intense chapter- can't wait to see what happens next!!!! :0)
nearsilence
Apr. 3rd, 2012 12:27 pm (UTC)
Thanks!! More soon!
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )